Monday, October 10, 2011

Award-Winning Entry

  Thrilled to receive notification of First Place for the second time this year, I am including an excerpt from the winning entry for my post today. The complete chapter won first place in contests for both the 2011 LDStorymakers and League of Utah Writers (LUW) conferences. I am honored to share this with you and hope you enjoy reading it.
THE SEVENTH CITY 
Chapter One 
About 90 B.C.
  Princess Karlinah hid a secret that could kill her. It felt as if it were buried in the pit of her queasy stomach. She quickly lowered her head as she approached her father-in-law where he glowered upon his throne. His scowl mirrored her husband’s while she fought with him last night. Shaking off the image, she bent her knees to the tiled floor and bowed. She rose when invited, keeping her gaze just below the king’s eyes. “You sent for me, great one?”
  The Lamanite king of the land of Jerusalem dipped his feathered headdress in reply and sent back the servants waving palm fronds. He stood and motioned Karlinah forward.
  Karlinah trembled. Dread filled her as awareness of the private nature and seriousness of the conversation increased. He meant to accuse her, she just knew it. She struggled to push her feet forward, took two slow breaths, and looked at him.
  “There is no easy way to say this.” His matter-of-fact voice belied the gravity of his words. “My son is dead. Murdered.”
  “Murdered?” Karlinah echoed, eyebrows raised. What a strong word to describe what had happened to her new husband. But she would never get the chance to explain. Regretting that the word slipped, she covered her mouth with her hand. It might have sounded like a confession for how nervous she must look. A quivering gasp escaped her lungs as Karlinah locked eyes with his. Had she betrayed herself?

More about The Seventh City:
A secret. A death. A spirited, sixteen year-old widow. For the young, Mayan princess it was either kill or be killed. Then a Nephite missionary comes to preach about repentance. Can Karlinah gain acceptance and remarry without revealing her secret?
I am currently revising the rest of the manuscript in preparation for submitting. 

12 comments:

Gail said...

Wow! This has me wanting more. Did she do it? You can't just stop there.

C. K. Bryant said...

CONGRATS on both wins. And I agree with Gail. I'd love to read more. :)

Betsy Love said...

That's awesome! It sounds intriguing! Your teaser makes me want to read more. I have a Book of Mormon novel that will come out the early part of 2012. I wish you all the best success with this.

Ronda Gibb Hinrichsen said...

What a great hook! :))))

Angie said...

Oooo. Exciting. Sounds the start of a great book!

JoLyn Brown said...

I really loved this! I can't wait to read more.

Valerie Ipson said...

Congratulations on your wins!!! And hope all will be well with your son! *HUGS*

Jennifer K Clark said...

Congrats! Very interesting start. I can't wait to read the rest.

Renae W. Mackley said...

You all have left me pumped up. Thank you for your comments. Now I need to get the rest of it in top shape. Hope you all get the chance to read the publish version someday.

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

I love this chapter! It's my very favorite of all! Now to get the rest of that book out there! SO proud of your hard work! LOVE YOU!

Stephanie Black said...

Congratulations!!!

kbrebes said...

I'm so glad you posted it...wish you'd posted ALL of it!! : )