Deep Editing - Powerful Emotional Hits

Can I say enough good about writer's conference classes? It's awesome when I get a concept and start implementing it. Love feeling the growth through actual practice. This week I recognized where a critique partner, who had taken Margie Lawson's Deep Editing Power class with me, had also powered up her pages using the techniques taught. (Note the alliteration. It's one of twenty rhetorical devices we were shown. Strong when not overused.) My partner had a particularly good paragraph at a key moment in the story, the midpoint.

Lawson's background as a psychotherapist gives her a unique approach to writing and editing. She taught four levels of powering up emotion, generalized below. For more information on this or other lecture packets, visit www.margielawson.com. The following examples are my own. 
1. BASIC is a simple line with one Emotional Hit, as she calls it. Use these when the emotion is not so important, for smoothness, variety, and flow. Example: She strode down the hallway.
2. COMPLEX can be a sentence or passage that builds on the basic level and includes two to four emotional hits. A combination of visceral reactions, internal or external dialogue, dialogue cues/tags/beats, body language, or action. These deepen character. Example: She strode down the hallway, fists balled and arms swinging.
3. EMPOWERED fills three to five lines of text and has multiple emotional hits. It combines any of the ways listed in #2, though some my be amplified. It sounds good out loud. Example: She strode down the hallway, fists balled and arms swinging. No one should have that much power over another. No one had the right to treat her friend that way. No one was going to get away with it.
4. SUPER EMPOWERED is for rare, special moments, like turning points--use only one or two per book. The writer powers up three or more paragraphs in the amplified ways stated above, plus rhetorical devices or combos. Anaphora is the device used in the empowered passage above. Super empowered would lengthen the passage to include more ways and devices. 

Strengthen your writing during the editing stage with powerful emotional hits!

Reasons to Mark a Manuscript

Yep, I'm guilty. I just made critique comments for my fabulous new critique group and found myself inserting a few suggestions of another way I would have worded a phrase or sentence. This got me thinking about how often we change another person's words. Sometimes critiquers slip their preferences into the story. Ideas just pop into our heads. If a phrase here or there doesn't feel right, we often want to put our own word choice in. Is it an improvement? Hard to say. I ask myself why I like it better?
TIP: If you can't name a reason, leave it alone. A few specific suggestions can show/teach, but 90% of your markings/comments should suggest reasons rather than making the actual fix.

The pen is a mighty instrument. Be wise.

REASONS: 
Add clarity, emotion, tension, description, or information. Replace weak verbs, unnatural dialogue, setting or character inconsistencies. Delete filler words and redundancy. Reword awkward phrases and sentence structure that doesn't vary, pacing that is too fast or slow. You can probably think of more.

Depending on the writer's skill level, you might need to teach with an EXAMPLE. Someone new to critiquing might not 'get it' when a marking says, "Tighten here." You might leave an example and add the reason.
Original: One of us is going to have to go home. Change: One of us needs to go home.
Reasons: Eliminates filler words and the weak To Be verb, same message.

DO mark those extra nice passages with smiley faces, stars, or words. We like to see positive markings too. Interestingly, the reasons you like them are the correct implementation of the reasons above. You might mark, "Good clarification" or "Nice description". Some writers need more positive feedback than others. Be kind. Hopefully we get to the point of understanding that a marked up manuscript means someone took the time to be helpful--if they know their reasons, that is.

Have you had a good or bad critique experience? Did their comments include reasons?
Keep writing and have a great week!

Refining Your Writing

LDStorymakers Conference Notes #1:

This week I’ll share some thoughts from Angela Eschler of Eschler Editing on Refining Your Writing. Angela hit upon various topics of interest. I’m certain you’ll find something of interest too.

Conflict: Characters need goals—even little ones—in each scene. Action is interesting but the reader needs to wonder about the characters. The end of a scene should meet with disaster toward the goal. The character then has to do something else to accomplish the goal, moving the plot forward. Pacing slows when the reader loses track of whatever the character cares about/the goal is interrupted. The point of view should stay with the character needing the goal or the one who is preventing it. Page Turner Tip: End the chapter before the goal is met.

Setting: Incorporate the characters into the setting; give a sense of them in the description. You can use the setting as the voice of the characters and tell their emotions without saying it directly. A character stuck in a setting can add tension.

Hook: Anything that makes the reader want more, questioning, create tension, emotionally grabs the reader. The hook should hint at the plot problem together with emotions. It foreshadows more than one problem or theme. Quirky characters and settings are hooking. Take it deeper.

Endings: A little loss and a little triumph equal a satisfying ending. Earned endings are best.

Power of Language/Trimming: Can you cut 2-4 words from each sentence for economy? It should not change the info or meaning. Use Search and Find. Cut anything repetitive where you’ve used different words. Don’t spell out what can be told in other ways. Make certain that metaphors start with something familiar and are applied to the unfamiliar. If they don’t share insight, cut it.

Find a tidbit you liked? I'll share more next Monday. Thanks for stopping by.