This...is...American Author Idols: a light-hearted look at authors seeking stardom. We'll meet our contestants in a minute. First, let's meet the judges. That is YOU, the readers of America! You get to decide who moves on in the competition by voting for your favorite authors. Buy the full series or anthology and your vote will count as a super vote!
Let's meet the contestants sitting in the read, er uh red chairs. Just to be clear, when the chair lights turn green, that contestant is safe and will go on to the next round. The first person to be safe tonight is...Miss Historical Romance. She will sing a ballad for us tonight. Next to get the green light is Mr. Speculative Fiction, who knows it's all about the performance. The next safe contestant is Mr. Steampunk, who barely made it through because we really don't know who he is as an artist. Come on down, Mrs. Harlequin Romance. She didn't know if she would get voted through or not, but she will always remind the audience that she had a really good time. Finally, Mr. Non-Fiction will read for the save tonight. We'll be right back after the break.
Hasn't this been a wonderful show tonight, folks? (Applause) We have one last category for your enjoyment. That's right, the costume category--for authors who write in their jammies! They don't have to worry about the wrong outfit choice because no one will judge them. Before closing tonight, we wish to thank our mentors: Thank you, thank you to all the critique groups, beta readers, and conference teachers wherever you are!
Keep reading, America! See you next week!