This...is...American Author Idols: a light-hearted look at authors seeking stardom. We'll meet our contestants in a minute. First, let's meet the judges. That is YOU, the readers of America! You get to decide who moves on in the competition by voting for your favorite authors. Buy the full series or anthology and your vote will count as a super vote!
Let's meet the contestants sitting in the read, er uh red chairs. Just to be clear, when the chair lights turn green, that contestant is safe and will go on to the next round. The first person to be safe tonight is...Miss Historical Romance. She will sing a ballad for us tonight. Next to get the green light is Mr. Speculative Fiction, who knows it's all about the performance. The next safe contestant is Mr. Steampunk, who barely made it through because we really don't know who he is as an artist. Come on down, Mrs. Harlequin Romance. She didn't know if she would get voted through or not, but she will always remind the audience that she had a really good time. Finally, Mr. Non-Fiction will read for the save tonight. We'll be right back after the break.
Hasn't this been a wonderful show tonight, folks? (Applause) We have one last category for your enjoyment. That's right, the costume category--for authors who write in their jammies! They don't have to worry about the wrong outfit choice because no one will judge them. Before closing tonight, we wish to thank our mentors: Thank you, thank you to all the critique groups, beta readers, and conference teachers wherever you are!
Keep reading, America! See you next week!
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Monday, March 23, 2015
Monday, April 8, 2013
Using Humor
I heard from a few of you that were disappointed last week. Yeah, I wish it were true too. Next time I announce a publishing contract I won't be crying wolf. It was the best joke I could think of for April Fools and apparently hit its mark.
Speaking of jokes, how do you add humor to a manuscript? Even text books have been known to insert a humorous illustration or story example to accompany information. Readers appreciate an appropriate amount of humor to spice up less lively narration or change the mood. Here are some ideas. Don't forget to let me know what has worked for you, or mention a humorous moment you've enjoyed from a book or movie.
1. Add a comical sidekick. This one is classic because the amount of humor is typically pleasing. Ramòn, the comic-relief guy in my contemporary YA suspense, is a younger neighbor who gives advice from experience beyond his years or else knows how to fake it.
2. A misunderstanding can become comical. Think of old "I Love Lucy" episodes.
3. Cultural, age, or situation clashes can be seen as humorous when the embarrassment is not transferred to the reader. Sometimes it feels good to laugh at a character--especially when deserved.
4. The voice of the scene or character is written in such a way that humor oozes from it. The author has mirth bubbling from the corner of his smile and it translates through the fingers or pen. He may laugh out loud himself as the hilarity flows (just as an author may cry where a reader cries).
5. Dialogue is a great place to manifest humor. It can be what a character says, how she says it, an amusing accent, or sneaky internal thoughts. Play with it and rewrite what doesn't work. Then the joke won't be on you.
Speaking of jokes, how do you add humor to a manuscript? Even text books have been known to insert a humorous illustration or story example to accompany information. Readers appreciate an appropriate amount of humor to spice up less lively narration or change the mood. Here are some ideas. Don't forget to let me know what has worked for you, or mention a humorous moment you've enjoyed from a book or movie.
1. Add a comical sidekick. This one is classic because the amount of humor is typically pleasing. Ramòn, the comic-relief guy in my contemporary YA suspense, is a younger neighbor who gives advice from experience beyond his years or else knows how to fake it.
2. A misunderstanding can become comical. Think of old "I Love Lucy" episodes.
3. Cultural, age, or situation clashes can be seen as humorous when the embarrassment is not transferred to the reader. Sometimes it feels good to laugh at a character--especially when deserved.
4. The voice of the scene or character is written in such a way that humor oozes from it. The author has mirth bubbling from the corner of his smile and it translates through the fingers or pen. He may laugh out loud himself as the hilarity flows (just as an author may cry where a reader cries).
5. Dialogue is a great place to manifest humor. It can be what a character says, how she says it, an amusing accent, or sneaky internal thoughts. Play with it and rewrite what doesn't work. Then the joke won't be on you.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Award Winning Authors
It's official. I've joined the ranks of award winning authors. Second year in a row. Okay, so it was just a literary contest sponsered by my community for our annual Peach Days festivities but I did get some prize money and a certificate for both pieces I entered. That counts, doesn't it?
The point is, sometimes we need to stretch ourselves by writing something apart from our WIP (work in progress). It's really nice to work on a short piece sometimes--especially when the novel word count feels like we haven't made a dent. If we get a reward for our efforts along the way, so much the better. The biggest reward is feeling encouraged that one's writing is good enough. Anyone who remains steadfast in the writing craft is a winner to me.
Here's my Second Place Essay (a humorous commentary on today's newlyweds):
Burnt Offerings
Newlyweds have it too easy these days. All they have to do is speed dial Mom and ask which cycle to run the wash for hubby’s dress shirt or for that recipe for Corn Flake Chicken. Or they might check the Internet for the answers. Perhaps they’ll pay attention to the food channel or that do-it-yourself network on the new flat screen TV they got as a group wedding gift from the office.
Why, when I was a bride it was trial and error. If hubby’s dress shirt came out pink instead of brilliant white, he’d just have to find a new tie to go with it. If I got out the ingredients for dinner and found out hubby polished off the Corn Flakes that morning, we’d just have to make do with Shredded Wheat and call it Wooly Chicken instead. If dinner got burned, the bride would cry while her husband told her it was the best meal ever. There was none of this running out for fast food to cover the catastrophe. Folks just didn’t spend money like they do today.
With credit card applications coming in the mailbox every other day, even high school seniors and college freshmen have at least one card to help them feel prepared for emergencies or feel better about those pesky school loans. They’ve learned that it’s only plastic after all, so it’s future money their spending. They’re too into the instant gratification mode to notice the recession going on out there. Haven’t their mothers taught them anything important?
Another thing that rankles my hind end about young couples these days is that they think they can afford a brand new house like the one they just left off living in with their parents. Or a shiny, fast car, for that matter. Just because they waited to marry until they both graduated from college and secured good jobs doesn’t mean they should start out so high on the hog. What about the merits of living off love for those first years? Isn’t that supposed to shape you into the best “one flesh” you can be? There is no “for better or for worse”. There’s only “for better”.
Forget having babies right off the bat. Who wants to be saddled with midnight feedings and diapers when your new career is hitting the jackpot? Not the newlyweds living next door to me. The lights on at midnight turn out to be the weekend parties they throw. The music is so loud I can’t get to sleep after enduring the evening drooling over the smell wafting out of the catering truck.
Even more important than the neighbors not having babies, my daughter and her new husband haven’t thought about it either. You’d think my daughter would listen to the pleas of her dear mother to make me a grandmother, but every time they come over, my eyes bounce from her flat belly to her face giving me “the look”. I roll my eyes right back at her and bite back a question about if she knows what to do. I’m certain the stork will make a visit later than sooner. My only consolation is that I taught her what it means to use a credit card.
I went to a bridal shower the other day for my niece and the gifts they give these days could put a person into the poor house. No more oohs and ahs over the Teflon cake pans. Now it’s got to be a Bosch mixer or a bread machine before somebody lifts an eyebrow. Even though the bride-to-be doesn’t know where she’s going on her honeymoon, she knows it has to do with plane tickets and beaches. That’s what credit cards are for!
When I was young we got one night in a motel and then we took off to go camping in a tent. I’m talking about the heavy canvas kind handed down from Grandma or Uncle Albert that takes half an afternoon to set up. Those tents retain so much heat they could cook you alive if you stayed in ‘em too long. We didn’t care; there weren’t any of those pop-up dome tents to get jealous over. We worked together, batting our eyelashes at one another before hammering in the next stake. The scent of pine needles and a sky full of stars was our reward. Now that was getting away from it all. That was adventure. You can’t buy those kinds of memories.
I’m standing over the stove, smiling at the recollection of my honeymoon and thinking there’s no use denying times have changed. I just wish girls these days could experience some of the struggles I went through as a new bride—the kind of things that helped a couple make important choices together and drew them closer because nothing was easy. The kind of experiences that keep a couple together through thick and thin, through pink dress shirts and Wooly Chicken.
My nose brings me out of my musings and I shake my head. On occasion I still serve burnt offerings. But tonight I’m leaning toward changing with those times. I call out to the familiar form in the living room arm chair. “Dear, get your coat. We’re going out to eat.”
After all this time, I’ve earned it.
The point is, sometimes we need to stretch ourselves by writing something apart from our WIP (work in progress). It's really nice to work on a short piece sometimes--especially when the novel word count feels like we haven't made a dent. If we get a reward for our efforts along the way, so much the better. The biggest reward is feeling encouraged that one's writing is good enough. Anyone who remains steadfast in the writing craft is a winner to me.
Here's my Second Place Essay (a humorous commentary on today's newlyweds):
Burnt Offerings
Newlyweds have it too easy these days. All they have to do is speed dial Mom and ask which cycle to run the wash for hubby’s dress shirt or for that recipe for Corn Flake Chicken. Or they might check the Internet for the answers. Perhaps they’ll pay attention to the food channel or that do-it-yourself network on the new flat screen TV they got as a group wedding gift from the office.
Why, when I was a bride it was trial and error. If hubby’s dress shirt came out pink instead of brilliant white, he’d just have to find a new tie to go with it. If I got out the ingredients for dinner and found out hubby polished off the Corn Flakes that morning, we’d just have to make do with Shredded Wheat and call it Wooly Chicken instead. If dinner got burned, the bride would cry while her husband told her it was the best meal ever. There was none of this running out for fast food to cover the catastrophe. Folks just didn’t spend money like they do today.
With credit card applications coming in the mailbox every other day, even high school seniors and college freshmen have at least one card to help them feel prepared for emergencies or feel better about those pesky school loans. They’ve learned that it’s only plastic after all, so it’s future money their spending. They’re too into the instant gratification mode to notice the recession going on out there. Haven’t their mothers taught them anything important?
Another thing that rankles my hind end about young couples these days is that they think they can afford a brand new house like the one they just left off living in with their parents. Or a shiny, fast car, for that matter. Just because they waited to marry until they both graduated from college and secured good jobs doesn’t mean they should start out so high on the hog. What about the merits of living off love for those first years? Isn’t that supposed to shape you into the best “one flesh” you can be? There is no “for better or for worse”. There’s only “for better”.
Forget having babies right off the bat. Who wants to be saddled with midnight feedings and diapers when your new career is hitting the jackpot? Not the newlyweds living next door to me. The lights on at midnight turn out to be the weekend parties they throw. The music is so loud I can’t get to sleep after enduring the evening drooling over the smell wafting out of the catering truck.
Even more important than the neighbors not having babies, my daughter and her new husband haven’t thought about it either. You’d think my daughter would listen to the pleas of her dear mother to make me a grandmother, but every time they come over, my eyes bounce from her flat belly to her face giving me “the look”. I roll my eyes right back at her and bite back a question about if she knows what to do. I’m certain the stork will make a visit later than sooner. My only consolation is that I taught her what it means to use a credit card.
I went to a bridal shower the other day for my niece and the gifts they give these days could put a person into the poor house. No more oohs and ahs over the Teflon cake pans. Now it’s got to be a Bosch mixer or a bread machine before somebody lifts an eyebrow. Even though the bride-to-be doesn’t know where she’s going on her honeymoon, she knows it has to do with plane tickets and beaches. That’s what credit cards are for!
When I was young we got one night in a motel and then we took off to go camping in a tent. I’m talking about the heavy canvas kind handed down from Grandma or Uncle Albert that takes half an afternoon to set up. Those tents retain so much heat they could cook you alive if you stayed in ‘em too long. We didn’t care; there weren’t any of those pop-up dome tents to get jealous over. We worked together, batting our eyelashes at one another before hammering in the next stake. The scent of pine needles and a sky full of stars was our reward. Now that was getting away from it all. That was adventure. You can’t buy those kinds of memories.
I’m standing over the stove, smiling at the recollection of my honeymoon and thinking there’s no use denying times have changed. I just wish girls these days could experience some of the struggles I went through as a new bride—the kind of things that helped a couple make important choices together and drew them closer because nothing was easy. The kind of experiences that keep a couple together through thick and thin, through pink dress shirts and Wooly Chicken.
My nose brings me out of my musings and I shake my head. On occasion I still serve burnt offerings. But tonight I’m leaning toward changing with those times. I call out to the familiar form in the living room arm chair. “Dear, get your coat. We’re going out to eat.”
After all this time, I’ve earned it.
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